Journal Posts From Israel - Garden of Gethsemane

Day 3 - Garden of Gethsemane

Bless the Lord who makes a way when there is no way. Who surrenders all. Suffers all. Dies for all.

The garden is the place of agony, but also the place of kingly anointing. (Jewish kings were anointed on this mountain and then taken through the Golden Gate into the temple mound where they were received by the people.) Both an olive and a wine press are here. I am reminded Christ was "pressed" here in every way.

He taught the disciples here - a place of instruction. Here became a place of submission, as he yielded to the will of the Father. Laying down his life, he sweat drops of blood. Here became a place of redemption as he drank the cup of wrath. This is the place of surrender to the cross. As the final drama unfolded, it became a place of betrayal - by a brother - through a kiss - for 30 shekels - $110 today. This became the place of "pick up your cross and follow me." From this moment on His face was set like flint. All hell broke lose here and now, today it is a place of total peace.

In this place, press me Oh God. Reveal any place that is unsubmitted or unwilling. Cause me to share in the cup of redemption and to receive His blood for my salvation and healing. Let my ears be instructed by you. Let my eyes see and know. Help me in moments of betrayal to forgive and move on. Cause my feet to be swift to obey. Fill me with your presence. Break me and restore me. Help me as I pick up my cross and follow, to experience your peace. Anoint me for your purpose.

Journal Posts from Israel - First Glimpse of the City

In May of this year, I visited the nation of Israel. I spent ten days with a group of almost 30 people on a prayer and intercession trip. I saw Jerusalem, Jericho, The Dead Sea, En Gedi, Bethleham, David and Goliath's field, Ariel, part of Judea and Samaria, Galilee, Nazareth and lots more!

I've wanted to take the time to document some of the things I saw and felt while travelling. Today I was reviewing my journal. I decided to post a few blogs from different moments on the trip - straight from my journal. It's been a life changing journey that is still being worked out in my life. So here goes something from my notes of my "First Glimpse of the City."

Day Two - May 8, 2010 (This is our first stop - even before getting to the hotel. We've been travelling for almost 24 hours.)

As we approach the city by bus I realize that you actually ascend to the city, not just to the temple. We drive through a series of rolling hills and passages. They play O Jerusalem as we approach. This is the first of many times our tour guide will take a moment to create a spiritual environment. Suddenly the view of the city opens up before us (white, gold and green) and from one foothill - we look across a large valley and see - the "mounts" or foothills of Jerusalem.

The gold dome of the Islamic temple immediately draws my eye. Rather than offended by it's presence, I am shocked to realize that it actually highlights a "portal" to heaven - a place of God's faithfulness. It is built upon the original threshing floor and is the place of the sacrifice of Isaac by Abraham - Mount Moriah. It is central to the view and to the vision. This mount is small, even lower than the other two surrounding mounts and is nestled into the foothills. To the right I see the Mount of Olives and on the left Mount Zion. It is panoramic and beautiful and large.

Suddenly, we begin to sing over the city. As Rob and Jill lead us in God of the City I am overwhelmed. I find myself crumbling. I just sit down with my back against the small viewing wall. Tears come now because I realize the truth of this song: "You're the God of this city. You're the king of these people..." I feel Jesus for maybe the first time since we boarded the plane.

Visit with a Nutritionist

Hi friends,

I just posted a "note" on my facebook page about my recent visit with an onology nutritionist. Several asked for notes from my meeting, so if you are interested in the counsel I received, simply click on the title of this post and it will take you right to my facebook page.

Caution - you'll probably learn more about me and this disease called breast cancer than you ever might want to know - so read only if you dare!

Love,
Jan

Teachable Moments

Here is a recent picture of Mark and our boys on one of their many wildlife adventures! As you can see, it was a successful day. One of the things I am learning to appreciate more and more about my husband is how he can open the hearts of our children as they "adventure" together.

While driving down the road this week, I had a very important conversation with one of my boys. We talked about something we've discussed many times before without seeming to make any progress. This time, it penetrated. It was a teachable moment.

I wondered why now and not before?

Often I communicate "right and wrong" rather than "love and acceptance." If I only instruct, then what I really say is you must learn to be good because you are bad. We shouldn't teach because someone is wrong, but because someone is loved.

Jesus represented God as a loving Father. If we believe God is loving, then we trust Him to use His power in a loving, healthy way. If we believe He is more concerned about His "rightness" then we'll interpret His instruction and discipline as judgment. No one sets out to judge their children (or spouse, or family or even themselves).

I love our children and I so want to instill in them a genuine, life-long love affair with Jesus. I'm sure you feel the same. My goal is to communicate love, acceptance and security. If the heart is safe, it will be trusting, teachable and even compliant.

I'm praying to more fully embrace the love of God for myself so that others may experience through me His acceptance. If I do we will both be good soil for the truth and find many more teachable moments!

Laughter is still good medicine!

It was awesome to see so many beautiful faces at LAUGH last night.

I'm spending a few minutes browsing through the face book and twitter comments and relishing the after-party glow of a PINK night well done. Blynda Lane was her usually warm and engaging self. Who knows maybe we'll have a real "Pink Talk Show" someday just for her! Can't believe we made a crapachino pie - nor that it ended up in Blynda's face. Now that's dedication to your craft!

Last night I visited with many women who are dealing with cancer or have family and close friends who are walking it out. I can only imagine the many other illnesses and difficult situations that I am not privileged to know. As I ponder the depth of our need for His healing touch, I am grateful that all the pressure is on God!

He's the healer!

Only a magnificent, creative, hopeful healer would prescribe a cheerful heart as good medicine for whatever ails us.

So let's submit to God's prescription! Take (laughter, encouragement, joy) at least twice daily with the Word and see the amazing benefits! Warning: highly infectious and likely to transform people from the inside out!

Thanks for sharing the evening with us. Glad you came or tuned in. Glad you laughed.

Let your heart be light and your countenance joyful.

Jan

Bed Head and Laughter

I woke this morning with terrible bed head. My hair was flat in back and pointing a million directions on top. I ran my hand through it and laughed. I have enough hair for bed head!

Breakthrough!

In January I began what is called "light chemo" as a follow up to the more serious stuff of the fall. My hair began slowly growing. It's thin and course and exceedingly slow - but it is growing! I am near the end of my chemo regimen. Soon we'll be having discussons about hormone management and radiation regimines. Praying for wisdom to know what to do and for atttitude of gratitude to see me through. And a little laughter won't hurt either!

How about you? Maintaining your sense of humor in the midst of struggle? Got a great funny story? Then tell it. You will stir up a little joy and it will go a long way to help you and me feel stronger. Remember: The joy of the Lord is our strength. Take some time to break away from the daily grind and hang with a funny friend. It will change your perspective and help heal your soul.

Speaking of laughter - this Thursday night(12th)will be Gateway's annual Laugh night. You may remember that Kerri Pomerelli prayed for my healing last year - right at the beginning of my journey. She's excited to share her testimony of what happened when she obeyed and we believed. Hope you are coming for this gathering - especially if you need a good laugh - and I know you do!

Here's a little appetizer from the Word: Because I love you Lord, you will rescue me and because I trust in your name, you will protect me. You will be with me in trouble and will satisify me with long life and show me your salvation. Ps: 91:14-16.

Thanks for dropping by.

You are loved!

Jan

Embarassed

It's been three months since I posted a thing.

Embarassed.

The longer I'm away from this place, the harder it is to get up the courage to come back. I keep thinking I need to explain, or justify, or wait until I have something amazing to say - not just any old thing - but something amazing. Strategized for weeks about how to explain. Procrastinated a thousand times. Distracted at least a million.

This morning I just decided to break the ice. Confess. Begin again.

I want to write. I want to share. Therefore, I'm trying again.

Wondering if anyone will return. Realizing I squandered my momentum. Regretting that I lost the interaction with friends I love so much.

Embarassed.

Not overcome.

Health reports, family updates and spiritual insights to follow. I missed you, Mr. Blog. Coming home again.

xoxo
Jan