Butterfly Sparks Designs

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Two Years and Counting

On October 28th I will be celebrating two years of cancer remission! I am so grateful to be alive and so grateful to be well. In honor of my own survival, this year I've decided to embrace breast cancer awareness month and even that little pink ribbon that I've avoided.

The month of October has been a little overwhelming to me. It seemed everywhere I went I saw something related to the big BC - and even though that ribbon was supposed to encourage me, I found it a reminder of the mark of disease. Sometimes I just tried to ignore it and sometimes it made me mad. I never wore the ribbon because I didn't want to identify myself with cancer.

This year I've made a turn in my thinking. I'm not only embracing the month of October as an opportunity to share anywhere and everywhere I can about the importance of early detection as a life saving measure, but I'm wearing my pink ribbon with pride. I have decided that ribbon is a statement of my victory and not an indication of my weakness.

I am taking back some of the joy that I first experienced on the day I heard my scans were clear. Here's what I had to say on that day.

October 28, 2009:

So thrilled to update you on my doctor visit this morning. My PET scan is totally clear showing no evidence of disease! When my doctor shared, I simply jumped out of my chair and started leaping in the air. I think I almost hit him! He told me to stop it so I wouldn't break my hip. Big tears and big smiles all around. Mark was with me and I just sat down in his lap and gave him a big hug.

Relief is so sweet! How I wish each of you could experience the release that I experienced this morning. Waiting on the Lord and believing for a natural manifestation of what you know in your spirit has been a stretch of my faith as never before. I have had to believe more deeply, declare more loudly and stand more firmly. Even now I sense again that standing is still required! Each of us must take our spiritual position, lift our sword and shield and stand until the natural aligns with His Word and His promise.

Today I am saying "I am a cancer survivor and I am proud to be so very pink."