One Woman Leader to Another - Part 3

Hi friends,

Today I’m excited to share some ideas about how to lead women well.

Over the years I have discovered a very important key that will really help you to be a great leader of women. You must love them. Whenever I am interviewing a woman for a role on our staff, or even in a volunteer leadership position, I consider these four questions:

 Does she like women?
 Can she see the potential in other women?
 Does she enjoy their company?
 Does she have a mother’s heart?

If I can answer yes to these questions, I’ve found myself a leader and a team player. When you love women, you will be able to serve them with great compassion, lots of joy and a sense of great purpose.

Now here are some tips for building a great ministry to women:

Help Them Overcome Isolation. Everyone wants to belong to something that is bigger than themselves. This is the core foundation of what it means to be a part of a family. There are three institutions of authority in the world: family, church, and government. We gain identity and a sense of belonging as we place ourselves within the authority structures that God has ordained. Make your gatherings inviting, relational and safe so that they will want to participate. Talk openly and often about the bigger picture and let them take ownership as a part of your family.

Consider What Makes You/Your Church Unique - And Talk About It! What has God called you to do? Who has he called you to reach? What are the hallmarks of your ministry? Now communicate that. Sometimes it will take awhile for you to identify your core values. Just pick one or two and begin to share them often and consistently. Here are a few values of Pink- Gateway Women for you to consider as an example.

o We are for one another. We are going to cheer each other on. We are committed to demonstrating love and developing people in a grace filled environment.

o We believe women are valuable and an important part of the total picture.

o We are always reaching for the younger woman and inviting her to be a part. (Titus 2 mandate.)

These core values (and several others) shape every gathering and communication we have with women. When you know what you are about, it will help you to build on your unique values.

Build Momentum. A sense of momentum will create energy, interest and enthusiasm for the work. Maximize what is working and keep your focus on where you are going. Better to do one or two things well than to do many things average. Be merciless with yourself and with your programs. Eliminate what is tired or wasteful and embrace something new.

Raise Up Leaders. There is a pressure on us to raise up and equip leaders quickly and effectively for service – in and out of the house. You can’t be in all places at all times. You will have to raise up others who you trust to carry vision. Make room for other’s gifts. Develop a tolerance for some measure of chaos. People must practice and have room for improvement in order to really mature. Remember how you became a leader - someone saw potential in you and dared to let you try. Speak to your people from the position of how God sees them. Often we talk down to people, rather than calling them up to higher ways of thinking. If they are leaders, talk to them like leaders. Give away as much responsibility as you can and don’t forget to release the appropriate authority to get the job done.

Be Flexible. In ministry, you will often have to change your leadership responsibilities. I don’t mean that you change your character or your personality. I simply mean that you have to be willing to change your own role in leadership in order to lead more people. Consider the following scenarios and how they might impact the choices you are making as you lead.


Sometimes you are among the people. In this environment, you model ministry. This is a follow me style. You attend functions and events that are important to your followers. You are the one who is ministering. You lay hands on the sick. You preach. You teach. You serve. You work. You are about the work of the ministry. This is a very similar model that Jesus used with his apostles. He said come follow me.

Sometimes you are in front of the people. When more people are being influenced and when you want to develop additional leaders, you will have to appoint others full of the Holy Spirit to help. Now you lead more by delegation and influence. You raise up and appoint other leaders to serve the people. You move from teacher to coach. You lead the ministry, verses always doing the ministry. You can see an example of this in Acts when the apostles raised up other believers to serve the people so that they could focus on the preaching of the word.

Sometimes you are above the people. I don’t mean that you are better than the people, I simply mean you have to see farther than the people. You have to have a bird’s eye view of where you are going. You focus on the vision, destination and calling of the ministry. You stand guard over the people, praying for them, sending directional vision, setting the broad boundaries and plans. In this environment, you release responsibility to key leaders who are engaged in building other leaders for the work. An example of this style of leadership can be seen when Moses climbed to the top of the mountain to see the battle below. As he held his arms high, the enemy was defeated. If his arms slacked, the enemy would gain momentum. Being able to see the bigger picture gives you a distinct advantage over the enemy and an opportunity to release more people into their own gifts and callings.

I hope these thoughts help you as you go about the privilege of leading women. I've made the title of this blog link directly to the Pink (Gateway Women) department. I'd be honored if you checked out some of the opportunities available.

Next week I'll post my final blog in this series. We'll talk about how to lead your oversight well. I hope you'll join me again.

Blessings,
Jan

One Woman Leader to Another - Part 2

Hi friends,

I’m doing a series of blogs based on a recent teaching I shared at the Connect Conference. I’ve already talked about the importance of leading yourself well. Today I want to share on some thoughts about leading your family well.

No matter the responsibilities you may carry in ministry, the workplace, volunteer roles or even at home, we need to keep first things first. And family comes first. (I already shared in blog #1 of this series the importance of your personal relationship with Christ.) I want you to think more broadly about prioritizing your family. You must let them know in both word and deed that they are the most important relationships you have. Here are a couple of practical tips to help you:

Know your season. Sometimes we become impatient with our season. We know we are called and we desire to be about the “work of the kingdom”. Sometimes we get so excited about the call on our life that we aren’t willing to wait for a season change to take on more responsibility. If you choose to place your family first, it is not a disqualification from ministry. It is instead a pre-requisite. Even when it is your season to step out more aggressively in your calling, if you have practiced prioritizing your family and waiting on God, you will be able to walk out your destiny without harming your personal relationships.

Say No – and Say it a lot. You are going to have to say no more often than you say yes. You are going to say no to some really good things - to some things you really want to do. If you focus on what is really important and on what you are called to do, you will be able to determine if something falls within the scope of your responsibility. Consider asking yourself the following questions:

What is that only I can do? For example, only you can be the wife to your husband, mother to your children, daughter to your parents. Only you can keep your relationship with Christ fresh. Only you can take care of your own body. If you don’t do these things, no one will. You are the key player. (Hint: There are very few things that only you can do!)

What is that I can delegate? There are all kinds of things that you can delegate from housecleaning, errands and cooking to appointments, teachings and leadership assignments. These are things that are critical to your home and life, but can be overseen rather than done by you. (Hint: Think of yourself as the coach and not as the quarterback.)

What is that someone else can do? This is challenging because sometimes you are going to have to let go of some things you really want to do. Maybe you want to be the PTA representative or the home room mom, but you need to let it go. Maybe you’ve always the first one to sign up to help with a project, but this time you don’t have the time. Maybe you are being given new areas of responsibility, but you are attached to some programs or projects that you love. You simply cannot do everything you used to do. Learning to prune your activities takes self control and a brave heart. (Hint: There are tons of things in your life that someone else can do. Let go of your responsibility and give others a chance to arise as leaders and volunteers.)

Once you’ve said no, then focus on the yes’s. The yes’s are full of potential, influence, breakthrough and effectiveness. The yes’s will give you energy and momentum, enabling you to run the race for a lifetime. The yes’s will lean toward your strengths and your callings and will produce greater fruit with less effort. The yes’s will give you great joy!

Include your family in the call to ministry. When you include your family in your call, you are equipping and empowering the next generation of leaders that are right under your own roof. What you model and how you model it is impacting your family. So consider adding some elements to your model that will allow your family to develop a positive attitude about ministry life. You want them to feel that they are a part of the church. You want them to mature and develop a sense of ownership. If they only see your work as a personal sacrifice and as a cost to them they will run a high risk of growing up to become either ministry junkies (workaholics) or to despise the church. Introduce them to the people you are working with. Give them a seat at the table next to you. Let them assist you with some of your responsibilities. Ask their opinion. Take them on your next ministry trip. After all, the most important leaders you are raising up live in your own home.

Build reward and privilege into your family life. Your family will pay a price for your sacrificial service, so don’t be afraid to build some special rewards and privileges into theirs. Sometimes we think that if we openly reward our children, the people we serve will view it as favoritism and make the road harder. You can’t let your fear of what others think keep you from blessing your children. There ought to be some perks along the way. So take some time off and do something fun. Make them glad to be the leaders kids!

Determine to be fully present in every moment. When with your family – be with your family. Don’t waste your time or energy feeling guilty. Guilt is a terrible ministry partner. As I have matured, I have learned to take a deep breath and work hard to just be in the moment. When I’m working, I’m giving it my all. When I’m with my kids, I’m happy about it and fully invested. When I’m sitting across the table from a friend – I’m really listening. This has brought me more peace and joy than almost any other revelation of my life. You really can only be in one place at a time, so trust that God is able to take the little you have to offer in each moment and transform it into a lifetime of joy.


Hope you find these thoughts helpful. Got some ideas of your own? Please share!

xoxo
Jan

One Woman Leader to Another

Hi friends,

Last week I taught a workshop on leadership challenges and opportunities for women in ministry at the pastor’s conference at my local church. I’ve had a lot of requests for my notes, so I thought I would break my talk into four parts and share with you.

Whether you are a woman in full time vocational ministry, or simply a woman in love with Jesus, you are called to leadership. His Holy Spirit puts a mark on you that attracts others, gives you supernatural authority, and demands your life become a witness to His love for you and others. Whether your role is one of position or relationship, you must learn to maximize your influence, help others overcome isolation and create momentum that will impart your core principles to those you lead.

Women have always had relational leadership roles, both in and out of the church. You might have heard the saying “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” One of our primary assignments (as a gender) is to raise the next generation of leaders. (I will share some more on this responsibility in the next post.)

Today, many women also have positional leadership roles. We can now be both mom and CEO. Wife and Pastor. Our call and impact are broader and greater than ever before. Some have vocational responsibilities within the church and many others have significant volunteer leadership responsibilities. This has placed us in a unique season with special challenges and opportunities. There aren’t a lot of examples of how to do this, nor a lot of role models who have gone before us.

My grandmother was a faithful woman called to serve in her local church. For 40 years, she and a few of her close girlfriends, taught kindergarten Sunday school every week at the Second Baptist Church. 40 years! Can you imagine? The last time I attended with her, I was in high school. She was still getting out the play dough and singing “This Little Light of Mine.”

I have a heritage of faithful service in the church. But my grandmother never would have dreamed of the role I hold now, nor would she have been given the opportunities that lay before me. If my potential influence in the kingdom is so greatly expanded, imagine what might lie ahead for our daughters? What is happening is not limited to the church. Your women are embracing new levels of responsibility and vision in ministry, in the marketplace, in their homes and in their relationships. We are partnering with other leaders (men included) to reach more people than ever before.

If you add vocational ministry as a part of your life, the complications are dramatically intensified. You can so easily fall into the trap of focusing on what you can’t do or what you don’t do well, rather than focusing on what you can do. Don’t allow what you can’t do, to steal the potential of what you can do. Focus on your privileges and authority. Embrace the places of influence that are before you. Commit yourself to become the best leader you can be. And begin by learning to lead yourself well.

How you lead yourself will in large part determine how you lead your family and then the women under your influence. Here are a few tips to ponder:

Go In and Come Out. You must prioritize a personal relationship with Jesus. When you are in ministry, it is so tempting to think that our service is the same thing as relationship. Your personal and your work life become very intertwined and the boundaries are blurred. Let’s face it – the work of the Kingdom is never done, so it’s unrealistic to think you are going to be able to do it all. You can’t give away or impart what you don’t have, so if you want your people to be full of grace and love, you are going to have to spend some time with the King. Your work can not replace the power of a personal, vital, fresh encounter with Jesus. Make an appointment with yourself and show up!

Rest. You are responsible for managing your private life in a way that brings refreshment. Don’t expect your work or ministry to provide you rest. We live in a time when there is great momentum on the work of God. Your vocational life is probably not going to become less demanding, but more. All of us are learning how to accomplish more with less – less resources, less time, less energy. When you step away from the vocational work, build your private life in such a way that you will be refreshed.

Just Say No.Next time we’ll really focus on the value of no and how it will help us, especially as we consider how to lead our families well!