Butterfly Sparks Designs

Friday, March 26, 2010

I have hair!

Hi friends,

I've given up my scarves, hats and wigs! I am ala-natural and let me tell you my hair is short! This photo was taken on the last day I wore a hat! It gives you a hint about just how short it really is. I've laughed several times about asking God for hair by Pink Impact. I definitely should have been more specific - "at least 2 inches" would have been smart! Prepare yourself - it's short and sassy and salt and pepper. It's been like freedom to just walk out the door again. You should be a little jealous - it takes me about 10 seconds to style!

Pink Impact is only a few days away and everywhere I go, ladies are getting excited with me. At this point, I'm just wishing it was time! The only thing left for me to do is finish my talk. Would you pray for me? I have my thoughts - I just need the final order to come together. Got some tips from my sweet friend Lynda Grove yesterday to help me organize and prioritize - so one more day of prep and then prayer, prayer, prayer!

As soon as Pink Impact is over - I am headed out to the other side of the world! I'm going to Israel. In six weeks, my feet will be in the "mother land." I've wanted to go to Israel for a really long time. My longing to visit was really birthed during a season of my life when I was participating in Bible Study Fellowship. The year we studied the book of Genesis was life changing for me. The more I studied the more I understood my Jewish roots and the importance God places on this little parcel of land.

When the opportunity came up, my heart leaped a little. I wanted to go but didn't think it was realistic. Finally I mentioned it to Mark. He didn't say much at first - just waited me out I think. One day while driving to one more doctor appointment, I just realized, "what am I waiting for?" Really - what am I waiting for?

Surely this year I've come to realize that we really only have this moment. There are a lot of reasons to wait - wait til the kids are grown, wait til I feel stronger, wait til Mark can go with me, wait til I can afford it...the list goes on and on...I'm over waiting. I'm not waiting anymore. With the permission of my husband and my physician - I'm going now!

I got to meet both Francine Rivers and Beth Moore last week! Surprises in the future from Francine Rivers if you are a Gateway woman! I am reading her new book and it is a page turner! Love her writings and I know you do too. When I met Beth Moore we were standing on the second floor of Barnes and Nobles in Southlake. I pointed out the window at the brand new Gateway campus out the window and said something about how much we would love to host her. Wouldn't it be a dream for her to join us at future Pink Impacts? I also picked up her new book on insecurity and it's hitting me between the eyes!

I've been thinking a lot about the process of cancer recovery lately. I'm at about 9 months into my treatment and although I'd like to be finished, I realized this week that there is a certain comfort in this stage. I am overcoming the enemy, regaining strength and growing hair, all while still receiving intensive treatment. Every three weeks I stop and fire some massive ammunition at the heart of the disease - a warning shot that says I am standing guard! You will not overtake me!

I am thinking that it might be more "scary" to stop chemo. What happens when you are not being so aggressive? When you stop fighting with drugs and only fight with faith?

I don't know if I'm ready. I don't know if I'm courageous enough.

As I type this morning, I am so acutely aware of you. I am grateful for your "read" and praying a rich blessing of courage, faith and hope for you. Whatever your need or your dream, our God knows and is able. Let's trust Him for the measure of faith required each day. We have enough courage for today.

You are a miracle in my life!



Stacy Burnett said...

I loved reading all of your updates. So excited for you as you prepare for Pink Impact AND Israel! I'll be praying for you.


Jennifer said...

So happy you got the desire of your heart, to have hair by Pink Impact, and you do!! AND you still have a few weeks, it could grow alot more by then! : ) I love what you said about we really only have right now. That is soooo good, I have heard "people" say this before, but hearing it from someone as inspirational and courageous as you, well, let's just say I am listening to you, it sticks with me and I am going to remember your words. I will continue praying for you! Love you, Jennifer Bellamy

Anonymous said...

Loved your blog..thanking God for giving you the hair, trip, healing, divine appts., and perfect words for your talk. The insecurity book is alot to digest...and it's a word in season for me. Let me know the exact time I should tune in to hear you speak! Love you, wendy

Anonymous said...

Oh, my sweet friend... you are more then courageous! You have the heart of a lion. Your talk will be amazing.. (no pressure, but you are why I'm coming!). You will be amazing because in everything you do God is there. You invite Him in and your heart is His home. That shows in everything you do! Can't wait to see you. Betty

Michelle W said...

Wonderful update. I can't wait to hear your message at P.I. and be a part of all the rest of the fun. We've been having a great time on the creative team :) Love those gals! It was soooo good to see you Thurs and I'm really excited to see what the Lord is going to do these next several weeks. Kairos was tremendous. Hugs and love, dear lady.

fivetwosix said...

Hi Jan!

My name is Jan as well and I stumble upon your blog/story after reading Chris Caine's tweet : )

I just want to share a word impressed upon my heart - Jan, you are More Than a Conqueror just as He is!

Much prayers, love and blessings!