Overcoming Fear

Hello friends,

Thanks to the many sweet friends who gave me positive feedback about the piece I wrote for Gateway's annual devotional called 20/20. This week the focus has been on healing. Sunday's message was so powerful and really helps to clarify how willing, able and ready God is to heal our bodies, soul and spirit. I am encouraged all over again. (If you missed it or don't attend Gateway, please click the title of this blog and it will take you directly to the web site. The sermon, all the devotionals and the video testimony from this week are all right there for easy access. You can watch or listen - it will bless you.)

I was invited to share a little of my own story of healing in this week's devotional. (I am week 2, day 2 - in case you have to search for it.) I choose to write about overcoming the fear of death. This is certainly the root fear that I must overcome. I also believe that the fear of death is the root of all fear - everything else that makes me anxious, afraid or terrified - can be traced back to this one threat.

I'm copying the piece here for those who are interested. I hope you will read all five devotionals this week on healing as they each are so powerful and bring such hope and truth.

I am healed, in Jesus name!

Much love,
Jan





The nurse came flying into the chemo room and handed me my weekly slip of paper that documented my blood test results. “This looks fine,” she said. I responded with the same exact words I used every time she would hand me the paper: “That’s because I’m well.” As I glanced down to confirm that my blood work was good, I read the results. In that moment, a fiery dart of fear pierced my heart.

Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.
Psalm 27:3
According to 1 John 4:18, fear is a tormenting spirit that threatens us with punishment. It comes in various forms—from intimidation to threat to torture. Fear loves to breed confusion and preys upon doubt. It presents itself as powerful and all-consuming, and it never shows mercy.

It was June of 2009 when cancer first called my name. Since then, I’ve had many fights with fear. I’ve had to learn how to align my thoughts, my actions and my body with God’s promises and character in order to keep my peace, walk in faith and receive my healing. I’ve learned firsthand that the Word of God is the only thing that can speak more loudly to me than the fear of death.

When you’re diagnosed with a serious illness, there is an instantaneous moment of disbelief, quickly followed by the first onslaught of fear. You face critical decisions and many invasions of privacy. You must discern your plan of action based upon the input of strangers who may or may not have your best interests at heart. Every decision feels life-threatening, and each day brings a new realization of the seriousness of the situation.

The story of Joshua shows us that God understands how afraid and intimidated we are when the threat of dying is near. The first chapter of Joshua picks up immediately after the death of Moses. Joshua, who had been Moses’ right-hand man, was faced with the challenge of leading the people of Israel into the Promised Land. I’m sure he was wrestling with fear, and I can completely relate. When I first heard the word “malignant,” it felt like a punch in the gut. But God opens His dialogue with Joshua by looking death straight in the face and removing its sting: “Moses my servant is dead. Now then, you and all these people, get ready” (Joshua 1:2). God doesn’t linger over the loss of Moses. Instead, He reminds Joshua of His promises and gives Joshua an instruction list for overcoming fear that applies to each of us as well.

First, God tells Joshua twice in a row to be brave and very courageous (Joshua 1:6–7). God required a faith response—an action—from Joshua. He does not make him brave. He commands him to be brave. Joshua had to choose to obey and take courage.

Next, God instructs Joshua to remember His Word (Joshua 1:8). The Word of God has every answer for our questions about healing and how to overcome the fear of death. He clearly states His plan (for long life and health), His heart (He desires for us to live) and His provision for us to obtain our personal promise of healing (by His stripes we are healed).

God wraps up His talk by exhorting Joshua one final time to be strong and courageous; only this time He also tells him not to be terrified or discouraged because He promises to be with Joshua and the people of Israel wherever they go (Joshua 1:9). In order to agree and cooperate with God, we have to disagree with our fear and trust that God is always with us.

Much like Joshua, when we face a serious situation—whether it’s a life-threatening illness, a relationship loss, grief or suffering—God calls us to believe His promises. We are to take courage and resist fear in order to cross over into our individual promised lands of health and restoration.

Despite the evidence of God’s Word, many of us are often afraid to believe for healing. We don’t trust that God is good or that He is willing to heal. Some of us are so terrified of being disappointed that we fail to stretch our faith and exercise obedience. Others of us begin the battle strong but lose our momentum, because fear wears at the corners of our minds and day by day steals a piece of our faith. Sometimes, we listen to our symptoms more than we listen to the voice of God. A hurting body, grueling treatments and many tests simply scream sickness so loudly that we believe the lie. Many of us can’t get past our experiences. We’ve seen a friend or family member suffer and die, and the disappointment stands like a mountain in the way of our hope and faith. Leaping across what is “bad” to believe that God is “good” becomes a seemingly insurmountable obstacle for us. However, if we don’t learn to overcome fear, we will walk in constant anxiety and thwart God’s plan to bring healing and victory to us.

I understand that believing God and choosing to be brave isn’t easy, and it doesn’t mean that we won’t ever have doubt or fear. It simply means that we obey in the face of great obstacles, symptoms and intimidation. Eventually, there comes a season in our battle when we can fully rest in the hope we’ve placed in God, surrender the outcome to Him and trust in His faithfulness rather than in the manifestation of our healing. We know that whether we are healed in this life or not, God is faithful. When we diligently guard our hearts against fear and steadfastly hold to God’s promises, we experience the rewards of peace and hope.

That day in the chemo room led to a week or two of massive instability. I had to reach out to my husband and my friends, confessing my thoughts and asking for prayer again and again. I’ve had many skirmishes like this, and each time, I have to choose to follow God’s prescription to Joshua for overcoming fear: I take courage. I stand on God’s Word. And I use His promises to diligently guard and restore my heart against fear. As I persevere, I am filled with God’s peace. Even though I may leave the engagement bruised and battered, I am not defeated.

I love what David says in Psalm 27:3, “When besieged, I’m calm as a baby. When all hell breaks loose, I’m collected and cool.” No matter how many times fear comes against us, we can maintain our confidence and peace by believing His promise to Joshua and to us: “As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you or forsake you.”

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, “I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
Eleanor Roosevelt

A Gentle Whisper

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.
I Kings 19:11-12

Father -

The thought that you would cease to speak, shakes me. I have become wholly dependent on your whisper. I can barely remember how to navigate in silence.
Still - I find myself guilty of busyness and activity (wind, earthquake and fire) that surely clouds my ability to hear your voice. Help me prioritize stillness so that I may know you. I long to hear your whisper, as you pass by.

Walk for the Cure

It seems I can't get away from it. No matter where you go this month - pepto pink greets you in every store! Pink ribbons, banners, balloons, stationary, socks, t-shirts, bumper stickers, coke boxes, NFL football teams, and every product in America is declaring that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Following close on the heals of this 30 day effort is the Dallas area 3 Day Walk for the Cure.

I love the job that Susan G Komen has done in getting all of corporate America involved in the game. But the truth is, what Susan G Komen does best is mobilize the average American woman to action on behalf of herself and every woman she loves. It's the mass movement of Walking for a Cure that is transforming the hearts of the apathetic and giving hope to those who struggle with this deadly disease. Many are remembered. Many are encouraged. Many will be saved.

This year my niece Kelsey and her mom (my sister in law) Julie - are walking 60 miles in 3 days to declare they care! They care about Molly Greenwood (Our mom, grammy and 15 year cancer survivor). They care about me - recently diagnosed in 2009. And they care about every women who is or will soon face this obstacle head on.

I know you care too.

Will you join me in demonstrating our concern by helping Kelsey to raise her support for the walk? Simply click on the title of this post to go directly to her page and make your contribution. All funds must be raised by November 3rd! A tax receipt will be forwarded to you from the SGK Foundation and a great amount of appreciation and thanks will be coming from the Lang/Greenwood Support Team.



Together we can find a cure!

Blessings,

Jan

Reflections on 9/11 - A Moment of Grace

September 11, 2001 - I think of it as the JFK assassination of our generation. Who doesn't remember where they were when they heard?

In 2001, I was a stay-at-home mom of four little ones ages 1, 3, 5 and 9. I was a part-time bookkeeper for our insurance agency and actively involved in leading women's ministry at s small church of around 200. My life was busy, but safe.

On the morning of 9/11, I was about my normal routine. Still in pajamas and robe, I was cleaning up breakfast in the kitchen when the images began to come across the tv in the living room. I remember Mark calling me to come see. At that point the first tower was smoking. I remember trying to guard my children while wanting to openly gape at the tragedy. Once the first tower fell, I'm sure I did what millions of us did - I began to make calls. I wanted to know that my own loved ones were safe.

My daddy answered the phone, which was unusual because he was normally at work around 7 am. Turns out it was his day off and he and my mom were hard at work on some project around the house. I told him about what was going on and he turned on their TV. We shared our disbelief at what was happening and spent about 20 minutes reassuring each other that all was well. At the end we said I love you and hung up.

That was the last time I spoke to my daddy. Seven days later he suffered a massive brain aneurysm and within a few hours, slipped from this earth.

9/11 holds not only a horrific memory, but also a precious one for me. I am forever grateful that in the midst of attack and tragedy, I had a moment that would grace me for years to come.

I pray with a special compassion for those who lost their loved ones on that awful day. I feel somewhat related to them, as my own loss was near to theirs. I do not imagine that my loss is as difficult, and realize that I am blessed because I do not mourn as those who have no hope.

Collectively, as the CHURCH, we weep for the work of forgiveness that must be done in each of us and pray that those who are left to pick up the pieces would find the same grace and comfort in the arms of Jesus as we rest in each day.

Journal Post from Israel - The Western Wall

May 11, 2010

Now it our time at the Western Wall. 3/4ths for men. 1/4th for women. The men are doing Bar Mitzvah's. The women stand on plastic chairs and peak over a divider to watch their sons and husbands execute a tradition at least 2,000 years old. The men sing. Take pictures. Read the scrolls. Proud daddies. Many men gather to encourage and embrace the youngest among them.

On the women's side there is mass prayer and mass chaos. As we approach the wall there is only a tiny spot for us. They have pulled their chairs to the wall and filled in all the holes. I wonder if they are offended by our "gentile" and "Christian" efforts to honor their prayer wall.

We hold back, our written prayers in hand, waiting for our turn only to find there is no "turn". No personal space here. I hesitate as the woman beside me is in travail - angst, weeping, rubbing the wall, babbling. I don't want to interfere. MJ waves me on. I step up. Tuck my prayer in a crack and place my hands and face on the wall.

I wait. I seek. No real prayer rises to my lips. I acknowledge the sanctity of this place, but don't find answers here. I step back and another steps up. When done, we back out. You don't turn your back on the wall.

I am struck again by all the effort made to come to a place to meet with Him. I am convicted of my laziness. Too tired to get on my knees, when they will trek miles for one time, or one day at the wall. Some make the journey everyday. I am impressed with their reverence, respect, diligence and effort, but saddened for them because there is no power in the wall. All the power lies in acceptance of the very one they seek...