Butterfly Sparks Designs

Thursday, December 31, 2009

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

2009 is moments from completion. Just a few ticks of the clock and it will wash away under the bridge of "today". 2010 stands at the brink and appears shiny, new and very alluring.

I'm trying to remember if 2009 looked alluring to me? I'm sure it did. If I had known the territory ahead, I wouldn't have wanted to go forward. Thank God we don't know what each season holds - the responsibility and the weight would be too much for us.

As I review and take stock of 2009, I can't help but experience mixed emotions - it truly was both the worst and best of my life.

The worst? Well, there was great hardship. Pain, fatigue, discouragement, loss, confusion, threats. They were all there.

The best? I am so grateful that cancer was found! Not for the cancer - but I am grateful that what was hidden was revealed. Darkness was brought to light. Warriors arose on every front. The Word became my lifeline and navigator in a whole new way. Truly what was meant for evil - has brought me some of the greatest blessings of my life - clearer vision, better priorities, more realistic pace, renewed hope, better health - wellness.

I'm looking ahead with a little more caution, a little more discernment, hopefully with a little more wisdom. I am not afraid. I am not unrealistic. As a matter of fact, I am feeling a little courageous. I now know that regardless of the costs, the advancement in my spirit will be worth it! I can go through. I am able. Even in great trial, His blessings are abundant and sufficient.

You - my family and friends - are by far the greatest blessing of this season. Thank you for journeying with me - for arising quickly, staying long and consistently speaking hope, health and love.

In 2010, I am excited about the chance to serve YOU with love and compassion. I care not whether it is to stand long around the fire of trial or to cheer you on in the moment of opportunity. I look forward to seeing God victorious in your circumstance. When the call is sounded - I'm on your team, in your corner, cheering on your behalf.

May this season bring you great joy, abundant hope and courage beyond yourself. Happy New Year!


Marissa Star said...


Can I just take a moment to sit in awe of God and His faithfulness ... um ... WOW! Thank you, because you opened a window to us in which we able to participate in the ups and downs of your journey ... it's as if we were allowed to go on it with you. And now we get to revel in His faithfulness with you. I think the sweetest testimony is that sometimes these crush people but you have come out more fervent and that is a great example to all of us! Look forward to all you have to impart in the coming year!

Great Love!

Michelle Benami said...

Jan, watching your journey this year has been a significant encouragement to me. Both before and after my own turn of events, I was inspired by your faithfulness, courage, compassion, and authenticity through your circumstances. You are truly evidence of His love for His daughters, and I count myself blessed to call you a sister in Christ!
Like Marissa, I also look forward to all that you will impart in 2010.