Through the Eyes of a Lens

Hi sweet friends -

I recently met a young woman named Katie who has a knack for capturing people at their best through the eyes of a camera lens. She is smart, passionate, action oriented and very gentle. She has a gift to pastor people and a prophetic edge to her work. It was only natural that when I needed some new photographs for an upcoming project, that I thought of Katie.

She met me and Ashley at the local park on a Sunday afternoon. We had a lot of fun just finding the right spots and the right outfits. As Katie snapped away, I was reminded again how beautifully God has made each person. Her gift for "gab" and her heart to do more than just take my picture - to really help me capture a feeling of transparency and trust - made me feel loved...safe...at ease.



Katie is an avid blogger - posting often about her shoots. Recently Katie posted a blog on her website about our time together. I'm so honored by her post, that I want to invite you to stop by for a visit. You will see several awesome posts and if you keep scanning down, you will see my new photos, hear her story of learning to hear God again, and catch a glimpse of a new ministry call on her life. Click on the title above and it will take you right to Katie's site or you can go to www.katiecoinerblog.com.



Just like Katie, you too are beautiful. A work of art from the master's hand. I pray that you would see yourself through the eyes of His lens and that you would know you are appointed to good works and great love.

Thanks Katie!

Blessings,
Jan

Standing in the need of prayer...

Hi friends,



Do you know this song? It's me, it's me, it's me Oh Lord, standing in the need of prayer...



I have been in bed for five days - and I'm still weary. I had a relatively easy weekend following chemo. I rested well and managed the pain much more effectively. I really expected to feel good on Monday and return to work on Tuesday - like I've done for the past two rounds of chemo.


However, on Monday I was still exceedingly tired and I slept almost all day. I got up Tuesday morning and went to a breakfast meeting at work. I was really weak, but determined to press through. During breakfast I got really ill and thought I might pass out. My co-worker had to drive me back home - where I spent the rest of the day in bed again.



Today I went to the doctor, expecting to receive another dose of Avastin, my weekly check up and then head into work. Instead I learned that my white counts are low (the reason for my extreme fatigue) and as a result didn't receive treatment - but was sent home to bed again. I did get a booster shot this morning and I'm hopeful that by tomorrow morning my counts will be sufficient to resume both my work schedule and my treatment plan.



I did get some good news today! The MRI of my breast revealed that the tumor is 1/2 of it's original size - which was already small. Obviously, this is good news and means that the "cocktail" of drugs is effective and is making progress. However, it wasn't the report I had hoped for, leaving me with a strange sense of disappointment. The CT of my hip isn't as definitive as the MRI. He is confident the cancer is being killed - but the CT revealed that my hip bone is still very porous and now has a small crack in it. This is the reason for the return of the pain. He cautioned me again about being careful not to break the bone and put me back on some restrictions - like no lifting etc. He says I am responding well and that I'm to trust him. I do.



For the past few weeks I've been really struggling emotionally. Between the returning hip pain, recurring urinary tract infections, and general apathy, I find I am in need of some additional prayer support. I get easily discouraged by the length of the process. I really like to determine the problem, spend a day or so thinking about what to do about it, then do it! Then move on!



The problem with this cancer thing is that it just does not move on! When you feel good, you feel like you are making progress and you can easily believe that you are the victor. But when your body feels bad and your mind is tired and your emotions are flat, its much easier to listen to every whisper of the enemy. I'm trying to turn his voice away, but he is merciless - bringing fear and hopelessness and anxiety at every turn.



I realized again tonight that I've not been calling on my friends and family for the support I so desperately need. I've been drawing further and further away - rather than announcing at the top of my lungs that I'm struggling! I am reminded that one of the strategies of the enemy is to keep me isolated and my needs hidden. When I feel discouraged, I tend to close up - be quiet - wait for it to pass. I think that's a failing strategy in this moment. So friends, would you pray for me again? I am in need of healing - yes - and so much more.



Mary Jo asked me recently who's report was I going to believe. I believe the report of the Lord - that I will not die but live and declare His works!



Jan