Health Update

When I returned to my physician in December for the next round of chemo, we ran into a change of plans. I was having some significant side effects from a drug called taxotere. It was effecting my nervous system causing me neuropathy in my feet and legs. It was getting significant and I felt I was deteriorating in my strength. Once I got my doctor's attention about this matter, he immediately stopped in his tracks and restrategized. After some discussion, the decision was made to continue up to four more rounds of chemo, but with a combination of drugs that were the "protocol" for my stage of treatment before the release of taxotere. The good news is that these drugs do not have nerve impact side effects and they even call it "light chemo."

A week ago today I returned (after a 5 week break from chemo) and received the new (old) drugs (round #9). I am so excited to tell you that it has indeed been "light" for me. I did not experience the difficult lethargy and tiredness of the previous treatments. I have had some minor nausea and needed a few naps - but overall I have tolerated this treatment with ease.

I am also happy to report that the neuropathy is improving. One of the reasons he stopped the drug is that sometimes nerve damage is not reversible. As soon as I heard that - it really discouraged me. My friend Lynda reminded me that if God can heal me from cancer, He can certainly address the after effects of neuropathy. Surely, I would not come through this struggle healed of the disease but lamed for life. I've been speaking to the neuropathy and commanding it to go right along with any hidden cancer cells.

I am so much improved in this area that during this week off from work, I have been on my feet almost all day attending to household chores I haven't been able to do in forever. From laundry to putting away the Christmas decor to cleaning all three of my boys rooms (yuck!), I have pressed through the fatigue and been able to go on. I took a walk around the block again. I am determined to work on my strength so that I can be prepared to be on my feet for a lot of hours by the time Pink Impact arrives.

I am headed into the doctor this morning to check my white cello counts. If I can by-pass this one final side effect of low counts, I will be "in the pink" so to speak.

Like many of you, I am returning to work this morning after a break for the Christmas holiday. I pray that you and I are refreshed, renewed and inspired to begin again. That 2010 will be a year that brings glory to the Father. That you will chase hard after your dreams and that many will hear and see and know our God.

Thanks for your continued prayers! I am so blessed by you!

Love,
Jan

PS - My hair has started to grow back. Would you mind praying that the new drugs won't cause it to fall out? It's white and fuzzy and very curly and odd looking - but it's mine! I'd really like to keep it!

Studio G - Latest edition

I hope you will take a moment to check out the latest edition of Studio G! My friend and co-worker, Lynda Grove, is the cover feature of this edition. Lynda is an amazing woman and I believe you'll be blessed by the opportunity to "meet" her!

In addition, there is an article I wrote called Poised for the Moment. It shares a little about my passion for the upcoming season and will encourage you to prepare your heart! Look out! God is up to something good and He wants all of us to be ready and involved!

If you don't receive Studio G, please visit studiogmag.com and register. The magazine is produced a couple of times a year and is free. If you prefer you can always enjoy the magazine on line! Past editions, additional features and all kinds of fun tools are available there. Just click this headline and it will take you right to the web site!

Hope you'll give me some feedback - I'd love to hear what God is saying to you about the coming season!

Happy New Year!

Jan

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

2009 is moments from completion. Just a few ticks of the clock and it will wash away under the bridge of "today". 2010 stands at the brink and appears shiny, new and very alluring.

I'm trying to remember if 2009 looked alluring to me? I'm sure it did. If I had known the territory ahead, I wouldn't have wanted to go forward. Thank God we don't know what each season holds - the responsibility and the weight would be too much for us.

As I review and take stock of 2009, I can't help but experience mixed emotions - it truly was both the worst and best of my life.

The worst? Well, there was great hardship. Pain, fatigue, discouragement, loss, confusion, threats. They were all there.

The best? I am so grateful that cancer was found! Not for the cancer - but I am grateful that what was hidden was revealed. Darkness was brought to light. Warriors arose on every front. The Word became my lifeline and navigator in a whole new way. Truly what was meant for evil - has brought me some of the greatest blessings of my life - clearer vision, better priorities, more realistic pace, renewed hope, better health - wellness.

I'm looking ahead with a little more caution, a little more discernment, hopefully with a little more wisdom. I am not afraid. I am not unrealistic. As a matter of fact, I am feeling a little courageous. I now know that regardless of the costs, the advancement in my spirit will be worth it! I can go through. I am able. Even in great trial, His blessings are abundant and sufficient.

You - my family and friends - are by far the greatest blessing of this season. Thank you for journeying with me - for arising quickly, staying long and consistently speaking hope, health and love.

In 2010, I am excited about the chance to serve YOU with love and compassion. I care not whether it is to stand long around the fire of trial or to cheer you on in the moment of opportunity. I look forward to seeing God victorious in your circumstance. When the call is sounded - I'm on your team, in your corner, cheering on your behalf.

May this season bring you great joy, abundant hope and courage beyond yourself. Happy New Year!

Weekend Trip to Abilene

Our home away from home.

This week I joined Mark and the boys on a trip to Abilene to visit the deer lease. We drove out on Saturday morning. Got to visit with our friends - the Schuman's - then picked up the RV and went straight to the state park to set up. The boys went hunting twice while I watched movies, slept late and got to catch up on some reading. In the afternoon on Sunday they did a little trout fishing and then we packed up and headed home. It was a lot of fun. Here are some pictures from the weekend.

Mark and I went out for Sunday lunch by ourselves to Perini Ranch. The food was good but the bread pudding was amazing! Love this picture of Mark...

Here's Matthew and Mark on the fishing dock. They had just stocked the pond with trout, but we didn't catch much. Wish we had, love pan fried trout!

Here's Luke! Looking cool for the camera.


This is my first time to spend the night in the RV since we lived in it for 6 months in Biloxi, Mississippi. Mark was deployed to the area immediately following Hurricane Katrina.

The first month we were in Biloxi was crazy. Mark was navigating the emotionally devastating landscape. I was managing the emotionally devastating life change. After a month or so we put our kids in a local private school and we began to settle down. Once we had some semblance of family life, I began to enjoy the lack of activity. It was just us and our kids. Things got really simple, really fast.

I used to get up in the morning – go outside the door – pull the boys school uniforms out of plastic tubs – come back inside and make a nutritious breakfast (cereal in paper bowls). Then we'd drive them to school, go the library to pay some bills or maybe stop at the grocery store. Come back to the trailer. Clean (30 minutes). Start a load of laundry (this included a walk with the dog and a couple of trips back and forth). Now what? Make a few phone calls for Mark, schedule a few appointments, and fill out a paper or two. When all of my household “chores” were done then the best part of the day would come – reading! I read a lot of books in Mississippi. The library was near by and free. Our life was quiet, uncluttered, and peaceful.

You didn’t complain in that season. After all, we owned a beautiful new trailer with 4 bunks and a slide. We picked it out ourselves, stocked it top to bottom and stored everything else we owned. We managed to find an RV park where the electricity and cable TV were restored. If we really wanted to – we could pack up and drive away.

Families all around us were staying in tiny trailers where the bed and the table were one and the same. They had no clothes except what they were given off the Wal-Mart parking lot. Their friends were scattered. Their schools were destroyed. Their jobs were lost. Yet, almost everyone we met was nice, helpful, smiling and in general uncomplaining. We learned to focus on them and not on ourselves.

Christmas that year was different. We bought an 18 inch Christmas tree with iridescent lights. Grammy mailed my birthday present to me – it was the willow tree Mary, Joseph and Baby Jesus. Her note said it was sent with a hope for a future home. We put the nativity (which was almost as big as the tree) on our little table and strung some multi-color lights from the awning outside. That was the extinct of our Christmas decor. We waited to buy gifts until the last minute because there was no place to hide anything or to store any wrapped gifts. It sounds pitiful, but really it was sweet.

Early in the month of December I began to tell God that I really wanted a home again - a house really. It has been almost six months since we pulled out of the city limits of Abilene. I really wanted to get out of the RV and into something with some more space. More than that, I was thirsting for friendship and community; a sense of belonging. I felt like I wanted to stretch out, do something, and make a transition. Finally, right before Christmas Mark was released. Within a few days we drove to the metroplex and began to day by day figure out what and where we were supposed to go next. The rest is history, so they say.

I was so glad to get out of this 32’ trailer that I find now I have forgotten some of its benefits. Things like simplicity and close family and quiet. As I sit here in the trailer, it’s the first time in months I feel like I’ve really been alone. I’ve been alone lots of times, of course, but there’s been a lot of static in my life lately. A lot of background noise and competition for my thought life. As I take a few minutes to record my memories, acknowledge some important lessons and appreciate the friends we made in Abilene, I am made grateful again. It seems that every season and every circumstance has a purpose in God’s master plan. Sometimes that purpose and plan can only be discerned from the rear view mirror.

Looking ahead to the New Year, I wonder what 2010 will hold. I’m almost afraid to ask Him, but then I remember that my word for 2009 has been a lifeline and an anchor for me, even if it did produce wariness when I first received it. Every time I am buffeted by the winds of change and struggle to hear in spite of the static, that word has resonanted in my spirit. I am confident that whatever 2010 holds all will be well. All is not lost, nor are we without hope. He who promised is faithful!

Let us hold fast

I am meditating on Hebrews 10:23 this morning: "Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering, for He is faithful that promised."

You may remember that in the beginning of 2009, I asked God for a word for this year for my life. He said "RESOLUTE". Hebrews 10:23 has been my guiding verse about how to be resolute.

I've been pondering some of my "professions" this morning - what I think, what I believe and what I say. The truth is I can be resolute about any old thing. I have all kinds of opinions about all kinds of things that have become "set in stone" for me. They are producing a faith working effect in my life - whether I plan it or not. If my profession is based on truth, then it will lead me to a fruitful place. But if based on lies or misconceptions or wounds or ignorance or countless other thoughtless foundations, it will produce countless amounts of chaos in my life.

I am learning how powerful it is to set my profession of faith on the Word of God. I want to avoid mechanical, mindless professions that produce unfruitful situations and circumstances. Here's my big, exciting, revolutionary strategy for becoming resolute based on what God says:

1) Find a key verse
2) Agree with God
3) Speak it out loud until I believe it
4) Speak it out loud again!

I know...profound, right? It is obvious - but it is so obvious, that I can miss it. Hope you'll join me in taking a moment to intentionally determine what we will hold on to without letting go.

Here's one I'm resolute about all the time:

I will not die, but live and declare the works of the Lord! Ps 118:17

Blessings,
Jan