Butterfly Sparks Designs

Friday, July 17, 2009

I choose life!

Good morning friends,

Yesterday was a big day for me. Michele Reising showed up around 11 and took me to meet with Sara Weirman. Sara is an 8 year cancer survivor who shared with me some great life coaching tips. We met last Spring in a women in leadership development class and I immediately fell in love with Sara's transparency and passion. We talked a little about the underlieing causes of disease and I got some homework for the next couple of weeks. Then we spent some time talking about nutritional changes. She made us a smoothie out of strawberries, bananas and fresh spinach. I know it sounds weird, but it was pretty good. Then she made us a tuna salad with no tuna - just nuts! It was delicious and beautifully plated! Thanks Sara for sharing out of your wealth of study and knowledge and healing. She gave me the jewels that she had to dig out of the ground. I asked her to lay hands on me and pray that I would have an obedient and willing spirit to make the necessary changes in my life to support long term health.

Thanks Michele for driving me. I loved our private conversation in the car and I won't forget the things we shared. God has plans that we can't yet see. Learning to rest and war, stand and be still, trust when we can't see. You blessed me so much.

Mark came and picked me up at the clinic and we had a sweet drive home - just talking about what God has been saying to us - and knowing that regardless of any bumps in the road ahead - He has us firmly in his hand. Just agreeing on His goodness, purpose and plan. My husband is a faith filled man standing guard over us in this season. So grateful that He has the wisdom of Daniel and the heart of David. Thanks God for this special gift...

Elisa came over as soon as I got home bearing gifts and food again. Thanks to Chelsea (who cooked) for the delicious dinner. The chocolate silk pie was a huge hit! Mark took one bite and said he was going to put a note on it that said no one else could have any. Too bad - with company and the boys only one small piece remains this morning! High praise to you! Elisa and I got to have some girl time which I have so missed with her. We share a sisterhood that is divine and anytime I can get a few minutes with her it makes me happy. She's off on a trip for the weekend this morning and I'm asking God to refuel her body, mind and spirit. She really poured herself out for LAUGH and needs to recuperate.

Just as Elisa left another amazing Abilene friend arrived. Wendi Hancock stopped by and we got to hang out for a long time together. Wendy is an amazing mom of 4 boys and we've known each other for years. Her stature is tiny - but her spirit is huge. We ate together, talked together, read the Word together and then we watched the DVD of LAUGH (thanks Elisa) together. It was such good medicene for both of us. I love you Wendi!

This morning I woke a little more fatigued. I can feel the tiredness in my arms - that's why I'm blogging so early. The fatigue is amazing to me. It comes at you like a locomotive. You can feel it coming a long ways off and when it arrives it just sort of blows you over. Part of Dodie Olsteen's testimony is about how powerful symptoms can be. How they stand in the face of your healing and taunt you. When Mary Jo was praying with me on Monday and she said that I am more well today than I was a month ago, I realized how I must lift my eyes away from my body. In the natural, I am worse. But in truth the battle has been going on for awhile inside of me - and now it is in the open. I can fight what I know. In the face of symptoms, if I can quote the word and push through I can become an overcomer. I'm not saying that I don't rest or deny the reality of the battle in my body - but I'm setting my face like flint to push through as much as I can - declaring that the battle happening on the outside is a manifestation of the victory on the inside. I choose life. I choose to be a fighter. "I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live." Deut. 30:19. I got up showered, dressed, put on a little make up, made my bed and gathered my Bible. Tired or not - I need the Word.

Thanks to Kelly Workman for the very precious gift of a compilation CD with worship songs selected just for me. I've got it playing right now. Worship is so powerful! "If anyone is a worshipper of God and does His will, he hears him." John 9:31. Thanks for the personal note, the lyrics and for sharing your word with me last week. NO! I agree. No!

Prayer requests:
1) Many of you know that my mom, Marilyn Weston, lives near me. (I'm an only child.) She and I had planned a full day of medical check ups for today for her. I'd planned to take the whole day off and make the most of our time together. I am so grateful to LC Allan for taking my mom on those rounds today. LC and mom met in life group at Gateway in 2006 and they have a sweet affection for one another. I knew LC was the person to stand in the gap for me. Would you pray for my mom and LC today? It's not easy to allow even a good friend to be near to your weakness and there is a lot of important updates for today that I really needed to hear. Just asking God for grace as even my mom is impacted by the circumstance. Praying that today will be a day of peace, hope and that all that needs to be accomplished will be done.

2) Tomorrow Ashley is having her wisdom teeth cut out under anesthesia. My mother in law has graciously agreed to come and take her and then stay with the two of us until Mark is available. Please pray for grace over this surgery and for a speedy recovery. I'm feeling sad that I can't take care of her to the best of my abilities myself, but so grateful for the support. Easy quick procedures and healing for her mouth, please!

3) I ordered a new hair piece that arrived yesterday and I'm so disappointed. I had to pick the colors over the phone without really seeing them and it arrived looking strawberry blonde. I wanted light chocolate with a blonde strip. It's definately not going to work in this color. I've got a call into the company to see if I can return it, but they are custom made per order. If I can't return it I'm wondering if my hairdresser can die it - it's made of human hair. Anyway - please pray for favor. It's expensive and I think I would really enjoy wearing it because it's a much cooler style for summer. But the color is a disaster! EEK!

I pray you have an awesome day! That God would send you a ministering angel. That you would be buildt up! That all your needs would be met. That He would be your source and comfort. Thanks for reading and for responding. Your comments are life to me and lift me up over and over again.

Resting in Him,


Carrie said...

Jan, I'm so glad that you got to spend some time with Sara. I knew that she would be an encouragement to you. It is so awesome of God to put those before us to help us to know what way to walk and those around us to help us walk it out. You are truly loved by your Heavenly Father and all those that know you!!

Anonymous said...

What a blessed day you had yesterday! I have to tell you though, I am chuckling even as I'm praying that your hair piece can be revitalized to an acceptable color. It really is all about the hair with us women, isn't it? :)

God bless your day! Love ya! A'Lisa

Mrs. Maddox said...


Don't quite know what to say except for God is exalted and all praise be unto Him. I read your blog--about the events of your day and thoughts and lessons woven into every step--and all I want to do is praise Him. You are clinging and are so beautiful caught up in His radiance.
Thank you.

And, yes, I know He gets the thing about His girls and hair...praying for favor and quick! ;)
Jen Maddox

JenniferPhillips said...

Jan, I have enjoyed reading your blog updates and walking thur this journey with you (via your blog).
When I read your update today about your new wig color, I thought of Pink. This was before reading further that you wanted a darker color. If it can not be changed maybe it is a sign.
You are standing tall for many other who are going thru cancer treatment and your blog is wonderful. Maybe the Strawberry Blond wig can be an conversation starter about Pink and Gateway.
Thank you for being honest in your blog and your willingness to share your journey.
Jennifer Phillips

Anonymous said...

Blessings on you and your sweet outlook which is none but the Lord's! He shines through you! Praying for total healing!
Caren Christian

Judy Woodliff said...

You're an overcomer, Jan. You're an overcomer. I see it in you over and over again.

Brenda Peterson said...

You know what struck me, Jan. The decision you made to fight every bit of this. One of the greatest things I learned through an extended battle with years of standing a number of years ago (will share that with you sometime maybe) was that you have 2 choices: fight or give up. Everyone reaches the point where they must choose one or the other--when you are tired, tired of being tired or feeling bad from the treatment, or just having a battle day. Once that decision gets made, you can say on those days, "I made up my mind to fight and I purpose to do just that!" It gave me a goal on days that I felt discouraged over my situation or just tired of being in it at all!

You set you face like flint, Jan. That will help! What an inspiration you are; we all want your autograph! LOL!

Love ya and praying, praying,


Madeline Foster said...

Hi Beautiful Friend!

Just wanted to let you know that yes, you can absolutely dye your hair piece!!! The best part is that you don't even have to go sit and wait at the salon =)

Love you!!


marsia said...

Dear friend! of course I had to find wifi in a coffee shop of all places! had to keep up with you--you sound amazing and strong and tired and highly favored of the Lord and ready to make some changes and ready to stand by some steadfast things . . . I love you and continue to pray for round 2 to be better and more enlightening than round 1. Love you much~m

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the opportunity to spend time with you last week. It was fun, green shakes and nutty non-tuna salad and all! Im always lifted by you and your precious spirit and for you to lift me in your circumstances with such Grace and love is overwhelming to me. I love you and know God has amazing plans for you.
2 Chronicles 16:9, Hebrews 4:14-16
Love much