Butterfly Sparks Designs

Saturday, July 11, 2009

She will survive!

Hi friends,

I'm so glad to tell you that my hair has been gone for 24 hours and I am still breathing! That's a joke - sort of! Seriously, yesterday afternoon Mark and I went to the back yard and he just quietly shaved it off. My husband was amazing. He gently ministered to my head while my heart broke. He kept telling me I had pretty blue eyes and it was going to be ok. Even though I was intellectually ready - even made more ready by it falling it out by the hand fulls - it was still a "sucker" punch, a low blow, a hit below the belt. I had some encouragement today just in time...

Elisa, Marcia and Chelsea came by my house unexpectedly and brought me two beautiful scarves and a very sweet response to my bald head. (Thank you) I went across the street to visit my neighbor Tracy and she gave me another beautiful scarf and another sweet encouragement. (Thank you, too.) Then the Brecheens stopped by. Not only did they bring delicious food with lots of extra fixings - but they brought their children and all of them - from the youngest to the oldest - laid hands on me and prayed for healing. When they prayed, Pastor Marcus declared that the rebellious cancer cells in my body understand authority and because of Christ's authority, they would submit and come into order. He declared they would either obey or they would die. I felt better after that!

I've been working on those three verse I told you about a couple of weeks ago. I've had so many amazing suggestions and it seems that the Word is speaking to me like never before. Even at Laugh when Kerri read the passage about passing through the fire that would not burn me, I felt the Word quicken in my spirit. I know that three won't be enough, but three is a good start. I want to share the ones I've picked and why...

Verse #1 - I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. Matthew 17:20
Without faith I can't please God and this passage reminds me that a little faith goes a long way. If I mix my faith with action, I have a promise of deliverance. I think this is the passage that says God is ready to heal me. He's waiting on me to pick up the sword and command sickness to move out of my way. Even Pastor Marcus's prayer is about speaking to the mountain and telling it to move. God's saying to me - "If in faith Jan says to the mountain 'move from here to there', it will move, and nothing will be impossible for her.

Verse #2 - The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you. Romans 8:11
I'm reading Romans 8 almost every day. I am alive to Christ but dead to sin. Since I am dead to sin, the consequences of the curse are broken and sickness has no right to rule in a my body. I believe He is quickening the parts of my body that are diseased with His resurrection power and that life is reigning in me.

Verse #3 - I shall live and not die and declare the works of the Lord. Psalm 118:17
This verse is especially powerful to me. I'd like to share a little story that will help you understand why.

Telling out children about this “leg of the journey” was the most difficult thing we’ve encountered so far – far worse than any treatment or procedure or even losing my hair. We knew it would be hard to tell them, but I was especially concerned about telling Matthew who is 9. Matthew is definitely the baby of the family, having all the traditional characteristics. First of all, he never wants to be alone. The more the merrier. He will not be left out of any conversation, adventure or trial. He is completely unfiltered, pretty much saying and doing whatever crosses his mind. He loves people and like his mommy makes friends easily. He’s pretty much pure joy to us – except when you are really tired and wish he would just be quiet! He has been processing out loud the whole time – free to be sad when he’s sad and happy when he’s happy.

I knew it would be heart breaking to tell him and it was. Mark gently told him the news – honest but straightforward – and he melted into a puddle of desperate tears. As we weeped together, our hearts were broken. But in typical Matthew style, he immediately began to ask questions. The ones nobody else would dare to ask. Once he calmed down and got a few answers he couldn’t wait to tell someone else.
Luke (our 12 year old) was told right before him and while Matthew was being told, Luke went outside and told all the boys in the neighborhood. So then we had a typical brother spat because Matthew didn’t have anyone to tell – which served to lighten the air significantly and return us to a little bit more normal state. He and I then went to tell our neighbor, which gave him a safe place to say the words, “My mom has cancer.” Thanks to Tracy and Richard for a beautiful response of grace and making Matthew feel honored in his confession. All night he just kept saying, “It’s so shocking. My mom has cancer.”

That evening, I went to bed before Matthew. In the morning, I wandered into the kitchen very early. There at the end of the counter where he usually eats his breakfast was a piece of paper and a black sharpy. As I drew near I read the words “She will survive.”

The night before, while I was laying my head to rest, Matthew was the first to make a prophetic declaration over my life. I knew the moment I saw it, it was my word from God. I lifted it up to Him and said if a nine year old can respond in the first few hours of such a disaster with a declarative word – rather than speak fear and death over my life – you, God, are going to have to do something spectacular! Matthew has prophesied I will live and not die.

Matthew is coping amazingly well. Just last week he said, "You know it's not so shocking anymore." There's also been a really funny comment about how he was going to have a hard time getting used to seeing me in a long, black wig! Like I said - he's honest and has no filter. I'm so glad there's no filter on his faith! He's at church camp this week and I can hardly wait to find out what God is saying to my littliest man.

Loving you lots!


amy ford said...

oh this one made me cry ... happy tears :)

Cheri Cochran said...

Happy tears falling over here, too. I love Matthew's declaration, and can only imagine how that must have moved your heart.
I am so proud of you as you walk through this journey. You challenge me (in good ways) with every blog entry. I love you!
By the way, Mark speaks the truth--you do have amazingly beautiful blue eyes!

Unknown said...

How beautifully your Matthew has ministered to his mom. You are precious, Jan Greenwood, not only in the sight of God, but in the company of all these witnesses whose lives you impact in big and small ways every single day. The enemy is on the run my friend - Not even CANCER scares God and I cry tears of joy this night as I read the declaration of faith and love you have ministered to us as only you can.

My heart and prayers are with you sweet sister. I'll never forget the first time we met - Lunch at Pei Wei you encouraged me so much and I grew to love you simply that afternoon. You are never far from my thoughts.


Michelle Benami said...

I have enjoyed reading all of your posts, and rejoiced with you in declaring healing at LAUGH. This post by far brought the most emotion from me. What a blessing and beautiful kiss from God to have your precious son declare such powerfully prophetic words over you! God speaks to his heart, and then he speaks (or writes!) it to you. What an amazing God we serve!
So excited to see what testimony arises from this...adding to my prayers for you that the Lord would begin a work in you for Pink Impact next year. His plans for you are GOOD, and you will OVERCOME by the blood of the Lamb and the word of your testimony!!! I for one, cannot wait to see the lives He allows you to impact!

Jessica said...

oh Jan.....reading this one had me in tears. It brought back so many memories of Angel shaving what was left of my hair as we both cried. I remember it well. On a positive note when your hair grows back you'll never have another "bad hair day" at all! We are blessed to have such wonderful husbands that make us feel beautiful even through cancer!
How precious children are! No wonder they are called "gifts from God". We can learn so much from the faith that they demonstrate!
You have so much to look forward to Jan. God has used you in great ways before but just wait until this is behind you! There will be no stopping you! You are an amazing,beautiful,wonderful and blessed woman of GOD! He is in control!

Stace Bengtsson said...

I cried my eyes out over this post. Thank you for your transparency and sharing private family moments with us that you could hold close and private! Every time I think I couldn't admire you any more than I already do, you put up another post that surpasses the one before. Each one displaying more faith and courage than the one before. What a beautiful honor to see your courage and faith grow with each day! Not only does God know that you have what it takes to walk this journey, He has given you a family that is just as Resolute as you are. What a precious gift you have! What a mighty warrior young Matthew is. I can picture you and Mark in the backyard and I don't think I have heard such a sweet story of such deep love in a very long time. The Greenwood family is teaching all of us so much in this season. Love you!

Unknown said...

When you blogged a few days ago about standing in the mirror and thinking about shaving your hair, I, too, thought about your beautiful blue eyes! But I also thought about your gorgeous smile and your precious heart!! I'm deeply touched each time I read your blogs. While other people should be encouraging you, you're doing the encouraging and touching hearts.

I truly miss seeing you around at the office and it's partly selfish - ok, mostly selfish :) Your sweet smile and sweet spirit have a way of ministering to people just because they pass you in the hallway - or hear your infectious laugh through the wall:)

Know that you are being lifted up to Jehovah Jireh continuously and we are standing in faith with you, waiting expectantly to hear "it's gone"!

Anonymous said...

Out of the mouth of babes--Children so many times have more faith than we do. It is so precious that Matthew was the first to speak over you. I continue to pray for you--I didn't have to go through telling young ones about mommy like you have, since my girls were both in their 20's. If you want to see my head shaving party--you can go to Ashley's facebook, she has them posted. I look forward to meeting you, but until then know that I am standing in the battle with you and claiming for and with you VICTORY. Just keep your eyes looking up--not to right, left, or down, but always up. He is our only hope and future. I know you know, but it is always good to hear that Jesus loves you so very much and has His hand on you. Stand strong my cancer buddy!!!!

Dana Miller
Phil. 1:6--For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.
P.S.--I also have been on Mannatech Vitamins all through my cancer treatments. The Ambrotose powder helps build immune systems and I really believe that it helped me from getting so sick and dehydrated during my chemo treatments. If you want I can send you some info on the product.

minda312 said...

wiping away tears on this one, Jan.

Praying right now for you...


The Durham's said...

Wow. He will speak any way He desires. This moved my heart today. Love you and your precious family so much.

Anonymous said...

I love you.


Anonymous said...

Praying for you today. Love, Nancy Briggs

Ashley said...

I love sweet Matthew's prophetic word!!! Precious! I love you and can't wait to hear more from you and what God's doing!!

Lynnell said...

When you need the truth just ask a child! What a wonderful moment for you as a mom and for Matthew you two will never forget! He is a special son!!
I was looking at the Laugh photos and when you and Ash came up it just make me smile and cry all at the sametime!!
Thank you so much for sharing your heart with all of us during this season and I am with Pastor Marcus and all these great ladies we are staying on God's promise.....period!!!!
Thank you for being my friend!!
Love ya

Anonymous said...

Sweet tears.
Your pure posts would make dear pages to a book!

love you

Michelle Wentroble said...

Such an incredible blog. I am SO EXCITED to read Matthew's note and to SEE it in the photo - so awesome! I love what the Lord is doing through you - as usual - you are a mighty vessel. I love and cherish you, Jan Greenwood. And for the record, those blue eyes just ooze His love and they are the first thing I think of too : ) PTL

Selah said...

Yes, this post brought on the tears and the sweet memories of shaving my own daughters head, and how her beauty only increased with her hair gone. You are a stunning example of the beauty and grace and dignity of the King's daughters. Our prayers are with you.